


The Sea Prince

by theobjectlesson



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, crackity crack crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 19:16:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1196388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theobjectlesson/pseuds/theobjectlesson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One minute, Percy was on the dock, just skimming his toes over the water, staring out at the waves glinting in the midday sun. The next, he is dripping with seawater with a pitchfork pressed under his jaw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sea Prince

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry not sorry :)

 

 

One minute, Percy was on the dock, just skimming his toes over the water, staring out at the waves glinting in the midday sun. The next, he is dripping with seawater with a pitchfork pressed under his jaw. 

No, he realizes, when he finally blinks the salt out of his eyes. Not pitchfork. Trident. _Triton_.

“Oh. Hi, um, bro.”

Honestly, dude looks ridiculous. All overly muscled with his stupid little silver fish scale speedo. Percy can’t see the family resemblance at all. Especially not in the livid expression on the gods’ face.

“I challenge you, Percy Jackson!”

There’s a piece of seaweed in Triton’s hair. Kind of looks like it might be there on purpose. Percy ignores the long, unnecessary spear under his chin and smiles.

“Um, no thank you. Thanks for the offer though. Maybe we could just hang out?”

Triton falters momentarily, taking a step back and waving the trident in front of him.

“I do not accept your decline!”

Percy raises an eyebrow, “You mean, you decline my decline?”

“Yes! You dare to think you can challenge my birthright and not face my wrath in battle?!” 

“Haha, what? Challenge your what?” 

“My birthright! My royal lineage that makes me the rightful heir to the throne of the sea!”

It takes Percy a minute.

“Heir? Wait, you mean after dad dies?”

“Yes!”

“Our dad?”

“My father, yes!”

Percy pauses for a second, but there’s no spark of recognition on Triton’s face.

“Our father, the _immortal_ god of the ocean? Poseidon?”

“Yes! Only I have the royal, immortal blood that grants me the right to rule! A right that cannot be challenged by a mere mortal, a mere half-blood!”

Percy is seriously confused.

“I’m seriously confused, dude.” 

Triton’s face is as red as a lobster. Maybe that’s on purpose, too?

“You deny it?”

Percy wonders if this is how it feels for other people to talk to him. He didn’t know gods could be _this_ stupid. 

“Um, yeah I deny it.”

The trident is back under his chin again. Maybe Triton is compensating for something…

“You cannot deny it! You cannot pretend you have not claimed yourself the rightful heir! A lie of preposterous slander!”

“Dude, when did I declare myself the rightful heir?”

“You have called yourself the ‘Sea Prince’!”

Percy laughs so hard that saltwater blows from his mouth into Triton’s face.

“Hahah the what?!”

“The Sea Prince! The prince of the sea! A title only bestowed on the heir to the throne of my father. Now duel me, coward, for the crown!”

“I don’t call myself that!”

Triton smiles darkly, “You are caught in your lie, Percy Jackson. I have kept track of your rumormongering. Your defamation is written in every scroll, every record of your history! Repeatedly! You refer to yourself as the Sea Prince as often as there are fish in the sea!” 

Percy frowns, “Ah. Well, you’d know all about the fish in the sea, I guess.” 

“I would! It is my domain. This lie has gone on long enough! It is all over these human contraptions, these electric boxes with portals to boundless information.”

“You mean, computers? The internet?”

“Yes! I will not stand for it! Fight me and perish!”

Percy holds up his hands, “Look, Triton. I didn’t write that. I’m not the Sea Prince, okay? You are. Definitely. Prince of the Sea, through and through.”

Triton relaxes slightly. He looks skeptical. And fishy.

“You will not contest my status as the future king?” 

“Nope, it’s all yours. Soon as dad dies. I’ll come to your coronation, chant ‘long live the immortal king’ with the best of them. Deal?”

Triton stands, planting his trident in the wood of the dock. He scratches his seaweed hairdo. Percy tries to look serious.

“And you will cease these heinous lies and their propagation on the human internets?”

Percy shrugs, “I can’t really stop them, man. You just need to increase your online presence, show them who’s really Prince. I’ll back you up.”

A lone wave rushes the dock and Trident steps back onto it.

“Perhaps. But I warn you, Jackson. I am watching. Reading these defaming works. You show one sign of treason and I will kill you on the glorious field of battle.”

“Right. You got it. Kill me in battle. Wouldn’t miss it.”

Trident points to his eyes and flicks his hand back to Percy’s face as he sinks slowly into the waves. Percy snorts and abruptly tries to look afraid instead until Trident disappears from view.

Percy has just enough time to flick his clothes dry before the one true Sea Prince appears again, drenching him all over again.

“Also, I believe you must work out your feelings towards this Nico di Angelo character. It seems you two have unresolved tensions. Lying about your royal status will not endear him to you, stepbrother. Try a grand gesture.”

Percy is still sputtering as the last strand of Triton’s hair-weed disappears into the harbor.

 

 


End file.
